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The Watermen
Thriller, Horror
IMDB rating:
Matt L. Lockhart
Richard Riehle as Belvin Lee Smith
Joe Monds as Captain J
Luke Guldan as Mike
Ashley Myers as Chrissy
Tara Heston as Diane
Scott Davis as Shackleford West
Floyd Abel as Floyd Clements
Blakely Bunnell as Woman In Woods
Gordon Price as Jenkins Hogg
Joy Glass as Lisa
Jason Mewes as Trailor
A.J. Roberts as Attendant
Storyline: A crew of watermen abducts persons in boats to grind their flesh and make bait. Six youngsters have their motor yacht sabotaged and they are stranded in the sea. The crew of a trawler rescues them and they drink spiked water and faint. When they wake up, they learn that they are trapped in an island and they have to fight against the sadistic men to survive.
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The Watermen Delivers!!!
The Watermen Delivers!!!

Loved the story line and locations. Cool aerial shots. Group of college kids go out on a fishing trip then get terrorized by this clan of Watermen. For what it was it kept me on the edge of my seat.

Joy Glass - the Lisa character - is a hot and from playboy - fun seeing her topless all over the place. Great action scenes and I don't believe they pulled off some of this on that low of a budget. Nice to see a film not just be about blood and boobs.

Looks like this film also won a few film festival awards so that's always good to see. The acting was pretty good - believable and in the intense scenes great - but these look like all first timers to me. First time director too. Not bad for just out of the gate. All in all we loved it and even watched some scenes twice.
I liked it
I know part of the reason I liked it is because I grew up on the Chesapeake down in Tidewater, VA but that's not the only reason. It was as fun and believable as any other slasher flick. Does anyone really expect a slasher to be believable? I think back to other "classic" slashers like Friday the 13th, The Hills Have Eyes or Texas chainsaw and ask myself did these other reviewers think they were believable or did they think the characters in those made all the right decisions? I guess my point is if you want slick, pretty and believable you're watching the wrong type of movies. Go for the big budget, big names, Hollywood blockbusters and even then you're going to be disappointed most of the time.

What I did find in this movie was better acting then in most B movies. I'm not talking about the way the characters were written but the actual delivery of lines. They were more natural then a lot of B movies. Not saying these guys will be getting awards but it was passable. The story itself was decent, sure it was far fetched but again what hillbilly, slice em & dice em, slasher fest isn't? The best part of all I thought was the production quality and as someone else said the camera-work. It didn't have that B-movie feel. I thought it was pretty slick looking for the money they had according to IMDb. Pyros & FX were decent as well. I guess my biggest complaint would be I couldn't always understand what the watermen were saying, nor could I always tell which was which. But I didn't need either of those things really, they were just "The Watermen" and they were the bad guys.

So if you want slick and you want academy winning actors maybe you should go see something like Prometheus (notice I didn't say believable) but if you just want a fun slasher with some nice visuals to waste an afternoon with check this one out.
Misogyny at it's finest
Wow, this movie is really as bad as everyone says. In the laziest plot in the world a group of attractive young adults go on a boating trip and when the boat breaks down they get kidnapped by a bunch of redneck fishermen/pirates/whatever. Sound predictable so far? Well the cliché's don't stop there so you can probably guess what happens in the rest of the movie without me having to go into too much explanation.

The most horrific thing about this movie though is the blatant misogynistic tone throughout. I know the horror genre has always had a reputation for being slightly sexist, but this movie is just unbelievable. The male protagonists spend most of their time wandering around in circles before jumping in to save the day. All the while the females get attacked, tortured, molested and raped by the bad guys. Even when guarded with weapons the three women can't take on one man because all he has to do is walk towards them and they'll simply stand there and cry. This is despite the fact that they obviously have extremely high pain thresh holds because straight after getting raped they can just run around like normal.

As for the bad guys themselves, well you'll find scarier characters in an episode of Eastenders. We're supposed to believe that six young athletic adults would struggle to get away from these idiots when a herd of donkeys should be able to outsmart them with ease. The basically just look like a bunch of homeless guys in raincoats. Don't ask me where they're supposed to be from because I'm none the wiser after watching it. In some scenes they just use the stereotypical American hillbilly accent, in others they use god knows what accent and speak in broken English. Half the movie they don't seem to speak in English at all! The acting, although not great, is nowhere near as bad as you'd expect. I've seen a LOT worse in other horror movies that probably had a bigger budget than this. I was surprised to see Jason Mewes star in this. I know he's not exactly A list these days but didn't think his career had gotten this bad just yet. After seeing the whole movie though and realising what a small part he plays, it's obvious he must have been paid a significant amount to do very little and get a top billing.

Any good points? Well one of the actors has a smokin body and spends most of the third act with his shirt off. Apart from that....NOPE!
Good movie for fans of slash and gore.
A group of young people sail out on the ocean sea to enjoy themselves. They are later faced with a problem on-board. A crab-boat answers their call for help, but their assumed rescuers have no real intention of rescuing them, other than to use them as crab bait.

This was a movie with a lot of suspenseful scenes. If you are a fan of slasher movies, than this is it. This movie may have you reminiscing about similar movies such as "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER" and "WRONG TURN". Good slash scenes. The gore and splatter, slicing and dicing effects are very vivid and well done for this kind of movie genre.
Awful slasher
THE WATERMEN is one of the most terrible of slasher films: one of those films that's completely fake from beginning to end. The awful script was written by somebody with a tin ear who just has no feel for proper, realistic dialogue; what we get instead are insults traded between a group of jerks, the kind of characters who can't die quickly enough.

The storyline is predictable in the extreme and not dissimilar to the similar Icelandic flick, HARPOON. A group of annoying youths take a boat out into the water, only to find themselves subjected to sabotage. They're subsequently rescued by the crew of a fishing boat who turn out to have less than charitable intentions.

The appalling Jason Mewes unfortunately plays the horrid leading character, who gets way too much screen time. He's surrounded by fat, ageing guys playing the villains and various silicon-enhanced bimbos (who spend their entire time parading around in and out of bikinis) as his associates. The gore, when it comes, is entirely lacking and the film as a whole stinks to high heaven. You have been warned.
Cheap and cheerful, and not without merit
The Watermen is essentially a cabin in the woods film - a group of teenagers / students / young people stuck in some backwoods and subjected to slaughter by a group of hillbillies / mutants / whatever. In this case, the mutants are fishermen, the backwoods are swamps, and the slaughter is in order to mince the victims for fish bait.

The good news is that there are places where this is done with some style (particularly some of the night photography on the water), the girls are pretty (albeit one of them is obviously and unattractively enhanced), and there are the sort of horror / slasher shenanigans we expect.

The not such good news is rather more extensive. The acting is poor, the film takes forever to get going, the baddies are incomprehensible (and, as usual, almost unkillable), the victims behave unbelievably (as usual, decking someone who is trying to kill them and then immediately turning their back on them, to name but one), and the violence is fairly sadistic. And the whole thing is utterly predictable.

So this is not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but it is not without any merit at all.
Pretty bad
Watermen is an uninteresting, uninspired slasher with barebones budget, below par acting and boring direction;

A group of young guys'n'dolls are out and about in a boat, they get a breakdown, and the boat who rescues them is full of cannibals out of a poor copy of Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The Watermen lines up - quality wise - with the better "film school" efforts, and for truly dedicated horror fans, there is some interesting material, but for the general (yet still horror-friendly) public there will be little of interest; instead, watch Triangle(2009), or the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre(1974), or any other generic horror, you'll do better.

final vote: 5/10 (not "so bad that it hurts your brain")
Don't watch it...Simple.
I have a chance last Saturday to watch it and man i regret it big time..being slasher freak i like these kind of movies even if they have low ratings but this was something beyond bearable...The thing which annoys you most is the main leads acting.They uttering dialogs without even a little bit of expression and soon you will realize that you are watching a teen comedy rather then a horror movie.I think the makers of this after watching turisates,ferryman and storm warning,mix them and end result is this film.If you want to spoil your Saturday night then this is a treat for you and if you don't then stay away form this.One word..HORRIBLE.
Great date flick
The Watermen has enough gore to keep your date clinging to your arm,has just enough nudity to to entice the male audience but not to much to turn off the ladies,also for the ladies stars Luke Gulden (world class body builder) and playboys Joy Glass for the gentlemen,The Watermen are a clan of seamen that live on a remote Island and speak in a strange dialect.They pick up a group of kids on a broken down fishing charter,and as not to give away the story murder and mayhem occur,plenty of action,blood and guts and T&A,The Watermen does not try to reinvent the horror wheel but is intended as a entertaining Horror/adventure (and yes some comedy too via Jason muse).I liked this movie
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